The Art of Doing Nothing

It is Thursday. A dedicated me/workday without my beautiful babes. The past few months I've been looking for the first early morning exit to maximise my day of 'getting shit done' and to hear myself without the constant echo of "MAMA" rippling through the house, calling me outside of myself. Huh, "calling me outside of myself" - that is how motherhood feels when I am not in my centre - that I must leave my body and my needs in order to serve my babes first. Sometimes Thursday is like a breath of fresh air to my week.

Today the heavy rain has invited me to stay cocooned up inside, on the bed, hearing the cry of my daughter from an insect bite and the excitement of my toddler about the things he's hurling through the air - Papa's got this! What a blessing it is to now have a home with a roof and walls to cosy up in - absolute game changer after 3 years of pioneering on bare land.

Today is my first week in months that there is nothing pressing on the agenda. A day of a few admin pieces and little else lies ahead. There is temptation to give up my day, to skip the process inside the chrysalis, to the busyness of life that awaits me. Where on earth did I learn that the fruits of my labour are the fruits that feed my worthiness? It's obvious isn't it? A post for another day perhaps.

Today I won't give way to temptation. I instead lay here and reflect on a reminder that came in conversation with a dear friend yesterday. Something that seems obvious to the parts of myself that are skilled in the art of deep breath and slowing down - but not so obvious to the human mind that is skilled in forgetting only to find deep satisfaction in the moments of remembrance.

I remembered that the energy that is invested not in making things with my hands, nor the technicalities of building a business from scratch, nor doing time-filling hobbies, but in seemingly "doing nothing," - being with myself, watching how the trees move to the beat of the rain, wandering and pondering without a fixed direction - is the time that I am developing and designing my internal landscape. Time that I am creating space for my internal and external environments to align.

It is not time lost, it is synergy gained, and this becomes evident through the way I show up with my lover, children and clients, and through my ability to walk with clarity and direction when action calls.

Doing "nothing" is when and how I clear my internal lens to bring crystalline vision to my art. To see you.

In Kaula Tantra yoga, which I practice and occasionally teach, the main principle is that every action comes from a state of non-action. Between every asana, there is an extended pause and moments of held breath, bringing the body back to complete neutrality, integrating what has come before and preparing for the next posture.

When we bring this to life, we learn to listen to when it is time to rest and when it is time to act and each action becomes more precise. Instead of trying to fill up every gap and silence, we see them as an opportunity to tap into the infinite source of energy that is available to all of us in every single moment.

And today, during our final Soulpulse call, we were invited to reflect on "what do you know to be true for yourself?"

and what came through me was

"Every single moment I have something to offer

to bring love, beauty, grace and generous abundance

into the world that I inhabit

to be creating a life of meaning

in every single moment

because life is not made from the grandiose actions

that win celebration

but in every single moment

with each breath

unnoticed."

So here is to me, curled up today, loving the rain and letting my heart muse.